“Study how water flows into a valley stream, smoothly and freely between the rocks. Also, learn from holy books and wise people. Everything – even mountains, rivers, plants, and trees should be your teacher.” Morihei Ueshiba
It never ceases to amaze me the lessons that come our way when we are in a receptive mode, or the learning mindset is switched on. An experience occurred yesterday on the way to the Dojo that further impacted me later in the day. More on that in a bit. Training has continued to go well as I closed out my fourth week. After an off day today, I head back to the Dojo Tuesday and Wednesday before the weekend sessions.
I have reflected quite a bit over the past several days, fueled by a podcast my wife sent. Mollie attended a course, and during one of the sessions, the instructor discussed noise. He shared his podcast with the class, and Mollie passed it on to me. Here is the link: https://overcast.fm/+IUPACgmIw I think you will enjoy it and find value. It’s a 15-minute podcast that may impact your life.
In the podcast, the host spoke about the first and last thoughts we had for the day. Fascinating thought. I ended up listening to several other podcasts by the host discussing noise. I have been aware of a lot of my internal noise that occurs during pre, during, and post Dojo sessions. We often see examples of athletes or soldiers dealing with pressure situations where the environment is chaotic all around them. They will often mention how they are able to block out the noise around them.
Similarly, I am aware of the audible sounds filling the Dojo when we are training. During the sparring sessions, the noise I most often hear is what is going on internally and not the other matches taking place around my opponent and me. I can’t say that I hear constant noise as I sense that my focus is on the match. However, there are times when the internal noise is present. Sometimes, the noise of frustration that I missed an opening or left myself open for an attack circulates in my head.
While thinking about the podcast, I made it a point to capture my first thought yesterday morning. The first thought was to make the most out of the day’s training with the intent of being a better version of myself than the day prior. My last thought yesterday was the homeless man. The homeless man revealed a lesson that came full circle after yesterday’s kendo session.
I exited the subway at the final station and was making my way to the exit leading to the street closest to the Dojo. The exit is 230 meters from the turnstile. As I turned the corner, I saw a man in some unique clothing up ahead. He and I were the only people heading in the same direction. Tokyo is known for its variety in fashion, so my initial thought of the man’s attire was of someone displaying a unique fashion taste.
The man was about 50 feet in front of me, walking at a slow pace. I then noticed he was carrying two plastic bags. As I continued to walk, I saw some trash cans and was met by a strong odor. I put two and two together and realized he was a homeless man. His clothes were ripped, and it barely covered him. The two bags he was carrying was from the trash can. He was likely taking it somewhere hoping to find something to eat inside the bags.
Earlier in the morning, I had purchased a bottle of water for the workout. A couple of people were walking towards us, and I noticed them gaze away as if they did not acknowledge the homeless man. I thought to do the same as I was catching up with him. But a voice inside of me said to give him my bottle of water. After passing him, I grabbed the bottle of water and tried to hand it to him. He caught my eye but looked away. Maybe he was too ashamed or embarrassed to receive something?
I saw a trash can up ahead, so I went to it and called out to him while I placed the bottled water on the bin. I continued to my exit, but right before I climbed the stairs, I looked back to see if he had grabbed the water. He stopped at the bin, looked through the trash, and left the water on top.
Walking towards the Dojo, I recalled something my mother had shared with me many years ago while living in Japan. She mentioned to me that even some of the homeless people had pride and would not receive something directly from another person. At the time, we lived next to a car garage, and there was an employee who often helped the shop owner. My mom had her car serviced, and in appreciation, she went to take a gift to the employee. He would not accept the gift which is a rude gesture in Japan. Usually, you receive it and return the act with a gift.
My mother later learned that the employee was homeless and likely refused the gift so that he didn’t feel the shame of not being able to respond in like manner. I thought about that yesterday following my brief interaction with the homeless man in the train station. As I continued to make my way to the Dojo, the voice inside me asked a hard question. What kinds of gifts are you refusing to accept? Some of the noise I often wrestle with is the noise of pride, perfectionism, and doing things the hard way. It’s not always bad, but at times, it does affect relationships and how I go about doing business.
I believe it affects my performance to some degree as well. I have seen during the Dojo sessions that I have shunned positive comments. I am quick to capture the feedback that is negative in nature. While the majority of the comments are corrective, my perfectionist tendency expects that I do it right immediately. I have received plenty of complimentary comments, which I mostly wave off. If I were to do a better job accepting the positive comments, I could build upon the progress and capture the elements which are working. In turn, it could aid in attaining goals versus counting on lessons from the school of hard knocks.
When I thought about the gifts I struggle with accepting, I immediately identified compliments. Yes, I hear them, but I don’t let them sink in well. So, before entering the Dojo yesterday, I made a mental note to be aware of the internal noise and to measure how I received feedback.
I love the training environment of the Dojo and am really enjoying being a student. A couple of the folks know that I am retired from the military. But for the most part, I am known as a college student from America. I often feel as if I am in a laboratory learning about myself and applying performance enhancement tools as I navigate the terrain of the Dojo.
My favorite part of the sessions is the sparring. The senior guys line up on one side, and we fall in line, bow, and commence to spar. The matches are not timed, and you spar for as long as the sensei feels like going. My goal is to go against each instructor at least once as time allows.
Yesterday, the time was coming to an end, but I wanted one more match. As I saw one student come off the line, I jumped in front and bowed to the sensei. This guy, in my opinion, is the top guy. He is the senior-most instructor during training and second to the Kancho. He epitomizes the quiet professional. He has an intimidating aura about him. He is the one guy who has barely spoken to me since I showed up. I don’t think he is a rude person as I rarely see him speak with anyone. He is 100% business from the time he enters the Dojo until leaving.
We paired off, and I postured up and went at it. Yes, the sensei got in more shots on me than what I landed. Not surprising, as he is a 6th degree. However, I got several head strikes that felt right as far as seeing the opening, making the strike and posturing up immediately after. There were several times I felt as if all the portions of a solid attack were present from initiation to follow-through. A couple of times, he even commented, “good men hit.” Men being the strike to the head.
That was the first match where I realized I had not noticed any internal noise. I felt progress. After training, that sensei came up to me and mentioned how much progress he had seen with my techniques. I thanked him and bowed. I remembered the internal voice asking the question earlier in the day, “what kinds of gifts are you refusing to accept?” I recognized that it was a gift and acknowledgment of hard work and my desire to learn. Additionally, it was a validation of the purpose of this trip to Japan.
This journey continues to teach me so many things. I came here to study a martial art and apply tools from my graduate course studies. I am certainly doing that but also learning a lot about myself. The homeless man I crossed paths with may not seem of value to too many people. Perhaps, he may not value much in himself. For a moment in time, he was used to teach a lesson and challenge my thinking.
Pat
Pat,
Psalm 34:10 says –
The young lions do lack and suffer hunger; But they who seek the LORD shall not be in want of any good thing. And Proverbs 14:31 says – “Whoever oppresses a poor man insults his Maker, but he who is generous to the needy honors him.” You may have extended the bottle of water to the man but it is up to him to drink from it. We can never know all the struggles of those we meet on the street or even the people we work beside. Everyone fights their own battles within. Just like you struggle with not taking accolades well, for whatever reason, he might have struggles unknown to anyone that prevented him from taking the water. And unknown to you, he may be filled with an everlasting spring of living water. Safe travels my friend.
Jason,
Good words. It is so easy to get caught up in one’s old pride and self-value. When we see the value of people around us, I think the joy of life is realized and we can be energized to add to life than to take away. I remember a mentor of mine sharing with me the importance of valuing all the people in your organization. It is easy to place attention and resources to those often seen as the “tip of the spear.” However, the admin clerks, supply sergeants, and cooks that support the efforts of those on the “action” end have so much value. Thanks for your thoughts!
Pat