Be the Fourth Cup….

Volume 2021-1

“If you understand everything, you must be misinformed.” – Japanese Proverb

Towards the end of the summer of 2020, I got back into golf after a 17-year hiatus. I had lost interest in the game and had competing factors such as deployments, being a dad, and a plethora of Army related requirements that resulted in setting the golf clubs aside.

Now that I’ve gotten back into golf, it has reignited many things I enjoy, such as challenges, competition, learning, and performing complex skills. It is fun and provides a venue for me to practice mental skills, something I regularly share with clients as a practicing performance coach. Golf keeps me grounded, humble, and growing.

The book Zen Golf by Dr. Joseph Parent was recommended to me and has been an excellent source for learning and applying the ‘mental side’ of golf. In the opening section of the book, Parent presents a neat story geared towards a golf student’s learning mindset. I found that it applies to activities other than golf and, specifically, life in general. This edition of the White Belt Mindset will present an allegory of the four cups.

Parent writes about the cups representing four types of students. I’d add that the symbolic cups are four approaches we can assess ourselves regarding the interactions we regularly have. Those interactions could be a student, relationships, philosophical system, or other areas you might consider. As I gauged myself, I recognized that a particular cup may represent my mindset for a given subject while another cup is present for a different area of life. My goal is to be consistent as a fourth cup.

The first cup is upside down. Parent describes it this way, “no matter how much is poured, nothing gets in.” I think of someone that is closed to learning. Perhaps, sitting in the classroom with a hardened approach to what is being taught. Or maybe, experiencing a loss of focus and allowing the mind to drift off thinking about unicorns and rainbows. In relationships or engagements (personal or professional), are we listening to learn, debate, or be heard? Taking the position of an upside-down cup closes the opportunities to learn and grow. It is consistent with a fixed mindset.

The second cup from the left is postured to receive water as it is right-side up. However, the cup has a hole at the bottom and cannot retain what is poured in. Parent explains, ” We hear what is being taught, but we forget it all too soon. We don’t chew on it and digest it and take it to heart.” After a positive engagement, how often do we struggle to recall something valuable or the nuggets of shared wisdom? One thing that has helped me is to take notes and focus on one or two things that I can put into action.

The third cup is once again right side up and doesn’t have a hole in it. However, this cup is filled with dirt and filth. Parent mentions that this cup becomes cloudy when clear water is poured into it and distorts what we hear and experience. The cup can be ‘muddied’ by our biases and opinions that conflict with the clear water being poured in.

Then, there is the fourth cup, right side up, no hole, and clean from dirt. Parent explains that it is upright and ready to learn and take in instruction. By its posture, it is better positioned to receive and later process the instruction. We know how water gives and sustains life in our environment. Likewise, I think approaching life as the fourth cup aids us in human growth and development.

I think asking yourself which cup you are is a good start. Consider looking at the indicators that support your assessment. Another course of action is to ask those that know you well. Which cup would they describe me (and you) as being consistent in life? Seek to be the fourth cup!